a hope design

Dear, dear diary…

In Relationships on June 15, 2011 at 6:05 am

Please forgive me as I get all girlie for a moment. I have to share what has been on my mind the last couple of days: men. The never ending quest to figure out the opposite sex.

Ladies, listen for a moment. This is for all my single ladies out there. If there is one thing I’ve learned through two divorces and many attacks of the “in love” bug, it is this: Men are LAZY! I am not just talking about the way they let their socks and underwear drop where they will or “Honey, I’ll do the dishes…two days from now…”

Men will always go the way of least resistance, like water and air. It is just their nature, g-d love them. A man will eat a diet of red-eye gravy and canned biscuits daily if it’s within arm’s reach rather than walk a mile for a porterhouse. Figuratively! What I’m saying, ladies, is that men are lazy in relationships.

I am not going to reveal how many times I’ve made this mistake (hopefully, for the last time), but, if you meet a man who is in a relationship, no matter how horrible he describes his marriage/girlfriend/fiance, don’t ever let yourself think he might want to change the situation. No matter how many times he tells you how wonderful you are (and he better be saying that for you to even be considering it, girl!), he is going to stay with what is comfortable. Even if he mentions those two words “soul” and “mate” together (Yes, I’ve heard that. No, we are not together.), don’t let it sway you. He is going to stay with her. Count on it. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. Not proud of it. Learn from my mistakes, girlfriends.

Now, I’m not saying these are bad men. They are not. They are wonderful, kind, loving men. Most are men who take their responsibilities seriously. That may be the main reason they are not going to make adjustments to their lives for you. Would you really want a man who would leave his kids for you? What I am saying is this, don’t go there. Live your life putting YOU first, and don’t waste a second on a situation that won’t change. Don’t wait for him! Don’t choose to love him…it is a choice. Love is an emotion that blows like the wind, this way and that, depending on the weather.

Over the past week or so, I’ve been captivated by the idea of making my business prosper. I have treasured each moment of being able to write this blog. I haven’t really wanted a relationship beyond friendship. My friendships and my pastimes have fulfilled me completely. Could it be that I can be happy without belonging to someone? What if a fulfilled life for me is one surrounded by friends and acquaintances but no significant other? Why not focus on me instead of trying to bring someone else into the equation?  I had two chances and blew it already.

What if third time is NOT the charm?

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  1. Would you know if you didn’t try?

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